Although for the most part this rant is filled with generalizations, it does, sadly, have some valid points. Which states were in the Confederacy? Which states advocated for slavery? Which states make up the Bible Belt? Which states opposed interracial marriage and are currently opposing same-sex marriage? Which states have consistently been conservative and thus opposed whatever social progress other states were trying to promote at the time, like integration or abolition? The answer is the Southern states. Here’s a censored (although still somewhat vulgar) version of Annotated Rant‘s rant on the South (think of the chil’runs!):
Screw the South. Screw ‘em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they’d stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves – yeah, those are states we want to keep.
And now what do we get? We’re the goddamn Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?
Cause we founded this country, idiots. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that BS about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn’t bother to read the first half of the goddamn sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were goddamn blue-staters, moron. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the goddamn monuments are up here in our backyard?
No, No. Get the hell out. We’re not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and goddamn Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those goddamn stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for goddamn blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their freaking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this, so don’t get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I’ve been a state for almost a hundred years" morons. Screw you.
Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being goddamn arrogant? What’s more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don’t think so. Arrogance is the goddamn cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn’t be so goddamn arrogant if I wasn’t paying for your goddamn bridges, idiot.
All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your goddamn Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you’re the ones who built on a goddamn swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s crap," we said, but you had to have your goddamn orange juice.
The next twit who says, "It’s your money, not the government’s money" is gonna get the crap kicked out of them. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal goddamn dollars and pay the least… can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, they’re red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, idiots, it’s our goddamn money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own goddamn stop signs.
Let’s talk about those “values” for a minute. You and your Southern values can bite me because the blue states got the values over you Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping twits? Well? Can you guess? It’s Massachusetts, the goddamn center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the goddamn nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are blue states, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to guess? 10 of the top 10 are red, we’re-so-goddamn-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is sure doing its part.
But two guys making out is going to ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you’re ruining it pretty well on your own, you little cretins. Oh, but that’s okay because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we get to hear about it every year at election time. Yes, we’re fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you’re towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that’s a workable formula. Maybe us Northerners don’t talk about religion as much as you because we’re not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous tools? No, you’re too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain’t us up here in the North.
Well this gravy train is over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical BS and shove it.
And no, you can’t have your goddamn convention in New York next time.
Get the hell out.
To be fair, we do have nice flora . . .
True.
You’re an idiot.
Geography means nothing. Your entire rant is based on Geography.
Texas is the MOST American state in the union. The “bible belt”
The Confederacy?
WE are the ones that believe in personal freedoms without immorality.
What the country was based on, Asshole.
Fuck the North.
Everyone up there (with very few exceptions) thinks so goddamn high and mighty of themselves, they don’t bother to look at any facts.
Like the fact that since WWII there have been more Texans in every branch of the armed forces except the Coast Guard.
The south is the LIVELIHOOD of our nation.
READ THE GODDAMN TENTH AMENDMENT.
Lincoln killed this country with his abolition of the tenth.
“Geography means nothing. Your entire rant is based on Geography.”
Woaaaah there.
This is not my rant first of all. I specifically stated that, and I put the entire rant (albeit, a censored version of it) in a block quotation. (Just to make sure, do you know what a block quotation is? You don’t appear to.)
…what is this now? Since when did geography not mean a lot? It has always meant a lot and still does. Why do you think so many people in certain portions of the world share similar values and beliefs (e.g., there’s far fewer Buddhists in Mexico than there are in Japan)? It’s not just a coincidence. Proximity leads to communities and communities tend to propagate common views and beliefs throughout their population.
“Texas is the MOST American state in the union.”
Care to back that up? What makes Texas more American than, say, Virginia? Maybe you’d like to define what you mean by American, so what you’re saying can make some sense. Texas isn’t one of the founding states, so that can’t be what you’re arguing, and it’s not the most populous state either. It’s also not the most American in terms of its history. It has third highest number of lynchings (after Mississipi and Georgia), it has opposed integration and interracial marriage (as well as current issues like abortion and same-sex marriage), and the state attempted to succeed from the Union. I don’t see what makes Texas the “most American state” other than, perhaps, having the largest number of fanatical, intolerant nationalists (or patriots, take your pick, they’re close enough in meaning, anyway) in the country. I don’t know if that’s true, but it is a very real possibility. If that’s what you’re talking about, that’s nothing to be proud of.
“The “bible belt”
The Confederacy?
WE are the ones that believe in personal freedoms without immorality.
What the country was based on, Asshole.”
What do you mean by: “WE are the ones that believe in personal freedoms without immorality”?
“Fuck the North.
Everyone up there (with very few exceptions) thinks so goddamn high and mighty of themselves, they don’t bother to look at any facts.”
This coming from someone who just said, “geography means nothing”? I’m very unimpressed with you.
“Like the fact that since WWII there have been more Texans in every branch of the armed forces except the Coast Guard.”
The number of Texans in each the armed forces, aside from the Coast Guard, increased after WWII? Uh, so what?
“The south is the LIVELIHOOD of our nation.”
That’s great and all, but maybe you should try giving me a reason as to why you think this. Or was your reason that there are more Texans in the armed forced than there were pre-WWII?
“READ THE GODDAMN TENTH AMENDMENT.”
Taking God’s name in vain, are we?
“Lincoln killed this country with his abolition of the tenth.”
That’s nice. We’re not talking about Lincoln or the Tenth Amendment, now are we? I don’t have the time or patience to argue about the Constitution with someone as ignorant as you, so try to stay on topic rather than going off in a bunch of different directions.
Wow. How hypocritical are you that you bash the South for not agreeing with you, while you, at the same time, make broad judgments off choice information? Especially when you’re acting like we’re all ignorant rednecks that drink beer, go noodling, and go muddin’ the rest of the day.
Do not judge, lest you will be judged. The same scale you use will be used for you. Remember that.
“How hypocritical are you that you bash the South for not agreeing with you”
Well, it’s a good thing I’m not bashing the South for disagreeing with me, then.
“you, at the same time, make broad judgments off choice information”
I’m not making any broad judgments. All I’ve said is factual; give me one example of something I’ve said in the post that is not factual.
“Especially when you’re acting like we’re all ignorant rednecks that drink beer, go noodling, and go muddin’ the rest of the day”
When did I act like that?
“Do not judge, lest you will be judged. The same scale you use will be used for you. Remember that.”
I’m not judging every single person who lives in the South, just the prevalent culture there.
Wild trolls appeared. Let’s see if they have anything to say . . .
Kildar: “Blah, blah, blah, Texas, MOST American, CAPS LOCK ATTACK!”
I had a more sophisticated reply, but Alex said pretty much everything I had said, so I didn’t bother with it. It is pretty funny that the guy contradicts himself within the space of a few sentences (“geography means nothing,” “Fuck the north”).
Anyway, the guy probably means that he wants “Bible-based morality” (animal sacrifice, stoning children, etc.) and “freedom” (you know, the freedom to be a white, male Christian).
Kafka: “Do not judge lest you will be judged, etc.”
Admittedly, all of your criticisms above the “do not judge” part would be more substantial if they had actually addressed something in the argument. Criticizing people is a bit different from criticizing the culture they live in. While it is easy to confuse the two, one should recognize that it is confusion rather than letting your immediate impressions leap upon the first words to exit your brain. I’m not sure why I should expect this sort of thing from a troll, though.
Why is it that these people who represent the stereotypes of Southerners (stupid, TEXAS, “South will rise again” types) are the first to take umbrage with generalizations about the culture of the South? The opponent of this special breed of idiot need not make anymore points because the fool unwittingly makes them instead.
I live in the south and I hate it here. I’m from the south and I’ve lived all over the U.S. and the south is absolutely the worst place to live at. When you live here, it doesn’t matter how educated or enlightened you are, because southern mores down here dictate that intelligence does not belong down here. When you get enmeshed into the southern culture; you become ‘dumbed down’ to the point of becoming a social moron like the rest of the people down here. I just wished they would get their facts straight about the Civil War ( they never have and they never will ) It was fought over the issue of slavery. Pure and simple! Southerners have the old slave mentality that preceded the Civil War and followed immediately afterward. Because of the large population of freed blacks, they reverted to their old slave mentality of keeping them ( the black people )under control. But in order to do that everyone else has to be kept under control also. So in order to coexist around these retards, you have to be controlled by them. Which means you have to look like, think like, and act like LTCG in order to get along with these imbeciles. I cannot do that! No apologies neither! I enjoy freedom. I don’t like the ‘control mentality’ that they have down here. So I’m getting the hell out of the south for good. I don’t need them. Who the hell does? Screw ‘em!